1 More Day...

...till grad school auditions.


I'm not nervous yet....last piece of advice my teacher told me was "don't fuck up." Lol...thanx Ms. Bell.

All I can do is keep my *fingers crossed*.

O...and please believe...next weekend...I'm gettin TURNT everyday...and Idc if I'm doin it by myself.

"WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!!!!"

Hilarious...

OnMyRadio...

I've been playin this album allllllllll day...every song is my shit.

Musiq Soulchild - On My Radio (2008)

My Boy Dooooooooooooooooog!!!!!!!

This had to be one of my fav shows growing up!




Way to pay homage to ur roots.

I Hate This Part Right Here...

-Woke up to 1 yr old Jayden at 8am
-Hw was done by 10am
-Laughed, talked, and played with Jayden, Kelly(the roommate) and Adrienne(Jayden's mom)
-Went to McDonald's...bought a #1 with a Coke
-Napped
-Worked on my monologues while playing Venus 7's "Primer" album
-Did over 50 situps...I just lost count after 50
-Drank water
-Took a vitamin
-Showered
-Called moms
-Left a message with my Hunny Bunny
-Aimed the hubby
-Hit the hay at 12:30am





...I had to hit the lowest of low b4 I could start to rebuild...the building has begun.

Waking Up 2 Reality...

[[Post-Script]]:My language is mad...real.

Once again I had to suspend Drake from the page 4 a brief moment...

Nd just so ya'll kno...I'm about to vent some real heavy shit rite now so if you don't feel like reading...u might wanna just bounce...the fuck am I kidding...nobody reads this shit anyway...


So basically...last Sunday, I woke and realized tht I'm 21 and life isn't the rosey perfection everybody made it out to be, and today...I realized tht life SUCKS...hard. Everyday this week it's been sum new shit for me to get over. Every damn DAY! No lie...I literally woke...was probably happy for like a hour...nd then sum shit happened to me to make go "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck". And yeah...realistically the stuff thts happened isn't really tht serious...they haven't been life threatening{but the bout with food poisoning did make me wanna die for a sec.}...but at the same time...when u have new shit happen to u everyday to set u back...tht shit can be pretty damn depressing. Nd honestly...I've let it infect my mind.

I'm still afraid to step into my future
I'm broke as hell...and getting broker
My hair is falling out...stress is a bitch
My comp caught a virus so all my shit is now gone...I backed up the majority but I cudnt save everything
I hate the white walls of my apartment
I feel like I'm being a bad girlfriend...even though my bf would dispute this
I'm tired of doin shit for other people
I'm sick of school...the last damn semester I'm here
I miss my gmoms...severely
I just spent 70 bones 2 fix my comp...nd the shit took 3 mins to fix
My room is a mess...and I dnt care
I feel like I'm living my life for everyone else's satisfaction at the moment
The only place I really wanna be right now is with my bf in bed sleep...but I cnt do tht cuz thts no way to live
I miss my smile
I need a blunt...but since I dnt smoke I dnt have any easy weed connects...nd even if I did...I cnt afford any


Fuck....


CAN I LIVE???????


Seriously! I dnt even have the strength/motive/feeling/emotion to cry right now...thts how fucked up I am.

Guess ya'll in luck...it's not tht long...ya'll still ain't readin this shit.

Happy 6 Months Dwayne!!!! Yesterday...

Due to a unplanned case of food poisoning yesterday(see previous blog)...I wasn't able to post this blog entry like I wanted to yesterday.


Sooooooooooooooooooooo....HAPPY 6 MONTHS DWAYNE!!!!!!! I cnt believe tht we've been together 4 half a year already! Swear it feels like 4ever! I miss u so freakin much already! All I do is think about u...literally. Ur my 1st thought when waking up and the last thought I have b4 I go to bed. I seriously don't kno what path my life would be on if you weren't there for me every single step of the way. You give my life a whole different and deeper meaning...u make every single love song on my iTunes make sense...without you I'd be a much meaner person...lol. And given all tht I've been thru the past week...I'm glad tht I have u by my side to keep me sane. Ur my "get right when it's wrong"...the President to my 1st Lady(lol)...the sugar honey to my iced tea...and I LOVE U.