Blast From the Past...

So I was looking through some of my old blogs on Myspace...and I found this one...I think it's one of the best ones I've wrote...check it.

So here is what's on my mind...{deep breath} here goes nuthin...

Ok so...I like this guy, but then I don't like this guy. I mean...we cool...I guess{grrrrr!} But he can make me so MAD at times! Like I dunno...the stuff that I thought was cute in the beginning...just isn't so cute anymore. I mean, it was cute at first when he would hit me up on AIM and say "I just wanna talk to u"...and then all he would do was ask me questions about me and my day. But now I'm just like "u wanted to talk so start talking!" LOL. I dunno...I never really was good at this whole "relationship" thing.

Question...If two people were friends and then u start likin each other, do u have to start to get to know each other all over again? Or can u just continue getting to know each from what u already know?

I also wanna point out, that I have stated on numerous occasions, that I{at the present time} am not that emotionally stable to be dealing with him and this "relationship" or whatever u wanna call it. So why does he keep pressin me about it? It just aggrevaties{sp.?} me and then, he wants to get all hurt when I tell him that I am mad at him. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Also...if u already have a pre-conceived answer to a question that u wanna ask me, DON'T ASK ME THE QUESTION!!! Because, when I answer it, if it's not the answer u were expectin{and more than likely it won't be} u are only hurting yourself.

"Guess it's bout time I find another love
Messin wit this nigga got me fallin apart,
I don't wanna be someone I know I'm not."

And another thing...just because I might be a little short with u at the moment, DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM MAD AT YOU. It just means that u caught me at a bad time. So please...don't ask me if I'm mad at you. TRUST , you will know, when I'm mad and when I'm mad at you.Asking me if I'm mad at you when I'm not only makes me upset with you.

And please, spare me the bullshitty ass line about "he's a guy, he isn't on the same level as you." FUCK THAT! LOL...that is sooooooo not an acceptable excuse.

Question: How do tell someone that you think you guys were better off as friends?

Gosh, I just wanna go back to school and get away from all this bull! And why is the universe screwing with me anyway? What did I do?

10: the number of times I have re-played "No More Tears" by Teedra Moses on my IPod since I started this damn blog.

I'm through with this. I don't wanna get married and I don't want kids so...why am I even going through all of this? It's just gonna wind up at a dead-end anyway so...why deal?

11 times...

I just don't get it. And now I'm all teary-eyed and such cuz I feel bad. WTF? Seriously, I have been going through this for like 6 months now, and I'm spent! No mas. Finito{sp.?}.

12 times...

To a certain person who inspired this long ass, angry, confused, rant and rave blog of mine...we really need to get it together cuz there will be "No More Tears" for you. That's gotta go...one way or another. DUECE!


Man...if ya'll knew the story behind that 1! LOL...well until next time!

Live.Love.Life.