Sooner Or Later...

...it all comes crashing down...

Usually when I come home for breaks, I'm either not ready to come home...or once I get here I'm ready to leave in like 2 weeks. Well....this time is no different. It kinda is...but then again...nah.

So...when its come to my lil sis and myself, I've always felt like I was the one to get the sucky end of the stick when it comes to my parents. I just feel like all those years growing up under their roof...nd they NEVER got me. They NEVER took the time to understand me and mines. I was def reminded of this yesterday(Merry Christmas every1!!!! Hope you all got what you wanted!!!}...ever since I started college, I've decreased my Christmas list from 10 things to 1 or 2...because i understood that my parents {esp. for the 1st 2 yrs} were paying my education...a whooping $30,000 a year...not because they have to...but because they PROMISED me an education and by any means they were going to make sure I got one at the institution of my choice. So like I said...I understand that...ask for a couple things...and whatever else I want, I buy myself. So this year, I asked for 3 things... a digital camera{cuz my last one broke}, a Blackberry Curve {UPGRADE...we already have the plan...I just need the phone...to help keep my life in order}, and money...nd honestly, if I got the first 2...forget the money. So anyway...I get the digital camera...and I'm excited!!!! But then the rest of the stuff I got for Christmas...yeah.... Now don't get me wrong...i'm glad and thankful that somebody thought of me enough to buy me things that I didn't ask for...but to buy me things that I don't want/need at all???? Like...u just went to the store picked up sum random stuff and said "I'll toss this her way." You know that rule "If you dnt have anything nice to say...dnt say it at all"???? Where there should be a rule that says "If you don't have any idea of what to give...dnt give anything at all". cuz I'm fine with just my digital camera...that was all I was planning to get...and I wasn't even planning on gettin that till after Christmas so I was good. But now if I don't use what they got me or don't wear what they got me...I'm bein the "bitch".

I guess I'm just tired of bein in a house where I'm not allowed to speak my mind and be who I am...I always gotta watch what I say and do as I'm asked...nd the minute I voice how I really feel about something...I'm either bein told that I'm rude or they act like I'm such a burden. But my sis on the other hand...runs them like her slaves...nd plays them like lotto. She's 18, I'm 21 and they talk to me like I'm the younger one...nd I would get it if I acted like I was 18...but no..I'm the responible one, I'm the one more respectful of others time and money, and I'm considerate...I just don't get it! Nd it frustrates me cuz as much as I try to act like it doesn't bother me...sooner or later...u kno the rest.

Nd it's not like I really seriously wanna go back to school...I'm really enjoyin this break...nd bein with Dwayne almost everyday and hanging with friends...I just sometimes wish the family aspect didn't have to be so heavily involved.

I kno this probably sounds bad...but I cnt help how I feel...so hey...middle finger up...cuz I dnt care.

[[Post-Script]]: Clearly I just did some purging.