Waking Up 2 Reality...

[[Post-Script]]:My language is mad...real.

Once again I had to suspend Drake from the page 4 a brief moment...

Nd just so ya'll kno...I'm about to vent some real heavy shit rite now so if you don't feel like reading...u might wanna just bounce...the fuck am I kidding...nobody reads this shit anyway...


So basically...last Sunday, I woke and realized tht I'm 21 and life isn't the rosey perfection everybody made it out to be, and today...I realized tht life SUCKS...hard. Everyday this week it's been sum new shit for me to get over. Every damn DAY! No lie...I literally woke...was probably happy for like a hour...nd then sum shit happened to me to make go "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck". And yeah...realistically the stuff thts happened isn't really tht serious...they haven't been life threatening{but the bout with food poisoning did make me wanna die for a sec.}...but at the same time...when u have new shit happen to u everyday to set u back...tht shit can be pretty damn depressing. Nd honestly...I've let it infect my mind.

I'm still afraid to step into my future
I'm broke as hell...and getting broker
My hair is falling out...stress is a bitch
My comp caught a virus so all my shit is now gone...I backed up the majority but I cudnt save everything
I hate the white walls of my apartment
I feel like I'm being a bad girlfriend...even though my bf would dispute this
I'm tired of doin shit for other people
I'm sick of school...the last damn semester I'm here
I miss my gmoms...severely
I just spent 70 bones 2 fix my comp...nd the shit took 3 mins to fix
My room is a mess...and I dnt care
I feel like I'm living my life for everyone else's satisfaction at the moment
The only place I really wanna be right now is with my bf in bed sleep...but I cnt do tht cuz thts no way to live
I miss my smile
I need a blunt...but since I dnt smoke I dnt have any easy weed connects...nd even if I did...I cnt afford any


Fuck....


CAN I LIVE???????


Seriously! I dnt even have the strength/motive/feeling/emotion to cry right now...thts how fucked up I am.

Guess ya'll in luck...it's not tht long...ya'll still ain't readin this shit.