Real Spit...

I'm probably on sum real deep "emo" tip right now...matta fact..I kno I am...but I don;t even care...read this if you want.

In my 21{almost 22} yrs of life, I've come to realize one simple yet hard truth: YOUNG PEOPLE LIVE AS THOUGH WE ARE INVINSIBLE. And because we live and subconciously think as such, we treat others around us the same way. Considering everything I've been through these past three days, please know, that NONE of how I'm feeling was in my mind AT ALL. I never thought that I would be saying goodbye to my aunt so soon. I still feel as though its just a bad dream and I'ma wake up and she's gonna still be here. Words cannot even express how much I miss her and the sunshine she brought into my life.

I know that that last paragraph was kinda jumbled so to tie them together...Because I believe that I'm gonna be here tomorrow, I never stop to think that someone I love and care about won't be. I think because I'm invinsible everyone around me is...and their not. And it's not like I haven't been down this road before. I should have learned the 1st time when I lost my uncle and my grandmother in 03...but I didn't...so 6 years and 2 more relatives later...I still haven't figured it out. Until now. I can't tell you how many times I thought about my Aunt Margie this semester or talked about her to one of my friends...and do think I ever picked up the fone to see how she was doing???? NOT ONCE. Why? Because I just knew that she was gonna be home when I get back. So now I'm stuck in Atlanta 2 weeks before graduation...mourning my aunt. Now don't get me wrong...my aunt knew I loved her...but still...if I had one more chance to laugh with her, hug her, hang with her, even tell her I loved her...I would take it...in a heartbeat.

I wanna thank all my friends who have been there for me these past few days...offering their condolences, their ears, their shoulders...i appreciate you all and they mean so much to me. I am getting better...I think what hurt the most right now is just that I can't be home with my family during this time and as much as friends mean to me...there is nothing like family when you lose one of you. I just really wish I could be there for my moms and my little cousins.

Readers...I beg you to STOP living like there is always gonna be a tomorrow...you never ever know when anyone's time is up...cuz IT'S NOT UP TO US.