There Is A Definite Crack In the Iceblock...

[[Before You Read]]: Please note that I am in a "idgaf" mood and have been for the past week or so. All I'm speakin is real spit bout me...so if u take offense...my bad...but I'm just speakin my feelings and I'm not gonna apologize for them.

When I prepared myself to leave ATL I knew that I was giving up a lot to gain a lot...but I guess I just really didn't know how much until tonight. I knew tht I was giving up my theatre circle...but thts coo...I can always make another one of those, but I totally didn't realize how much I was gonna miss my circle of friends.

I've known for a while now that most of my closest friends right now I met thru my bf or know him in some way...and I'm cool with that...I wudnt trade em for the world...but at the same time, when they decide to hang and have guys nite or sumthin...I feel a lil outta the circle if I'm not hanging out with my friends or somethin too. The only problem is...I really don't have tht many friends in LA that are just MY friends. And it's my fault...a lot of the people that I used to kick it with from hs are either parents(I kno rite) or just on sum stuff that I really ain't tryna be on. All I really have is my BFF and he's got a gf nd I got a bf so u know how that goes...

I really don't think I wud even be beefin this situation if when situations like this happen(nd they rarely ever happen) I wudnt stop nd think to myself "If I was n ATL ..." Like 2nite...a Fri. nite...in ATL...I wud b at game night with the game night crew at the Independent Bar...chillin...playin games...laughin...eatin...smokin(not I...I dnt do cloves) till 2 almost 3 in the morning...or out clubbin with my Mainz for free...instead of rollin to sum wack ass functions thrown by my homegirl n the hood who is younger than me, has people smokin weed all out n her front yard, nd makin sure my lil sis doesn't get caught faded by the police...yeah...not my idea of a turnt night.

So to sum up this post...cuz I'm coolin off so I'm forgettin why I'm typin this...I love the friends I have, but I do need a crew seperate from the boy toy, anddddd thats all I can remember....gnite ya'll.